QUESTION:
A question from J.S. in Seattle. He writes: "A lot of young women I know have a difficult time with love and sex because they are attracted to men who abuse them, or who cause them to suffer. They are intuitively attracted to these men for a reason. They seem cold, cruel, ruthless and deadly. Recently, a girl asked me why this was, and I was moved by spirit to say that women have a different energy than men. It is a more gentle, living and loving energy and has a respect for life, but men have death energy in them. We are scrambling for survival and are used to getting knocked around or knocking out the opposition first. We deaden ourselves inside to the violence that we perpetuate and interface with on a daily basis. Women are attracted to the death energy because they want to learn from it, and unfortunately for them, they get hurt by it, and they learn that a lot of men who are like this are selfish and pig-headed and don’t care about anyone but themselves, and in fact, we don’t know how to care about ourselves that much. Am I right about this? And, if so, does the popular American myth of the rugged individual who lives free of all authority, guided only by all interior and often violent code, help to alienate us all from knowing ourselves? Why are we so afraid of simply loving and honoring one another? Are we so strange that we have to kill everything that moves?"
COSMIC AWARENESS:
This Awareness indicates this entity has analyzed the situation very well. This Awareness indicates, however, there is also another aspect that was left out of the equation, this being that many women are attracted not only to love and the nurturing aspect, but they are attracted to the power, wherever it might be found, which they believe they can harness and use. Thus, they are attracted to the man who emits an aura of power.
In this sense, this can include those who are violent. Of course, the first act in a relationship with such a man generally is to tame and gain control over that violence so that the woman can be safe herself, while having that power and violence at her disposal.
This Awareness indicates that generally, this does not work in the way the women intends and she finds herself being the brunt of the abuse and violence which first attracted her. This then, of course, leads to her need and desire to be free of this entity, and in many cases, the entity does not want to free her, and feels a need to keep her because he is attracted to her nurturing qualities and wants that nurturing, for she can nurture his gentle aspects, his loving aspects, and he wants that from her, even if he does not admit it.
But, he is also willing to violate her in order to keep her, in order to have that nurturing quality, that gentle quality that she offers. This Awareness indicates that he may not be willing to deal with her in a gentle manner, but he can demand she stay with him and he can threaten her if she doesn’t, or if she appears to seek a distance from him.
This Awareness indicates that man’s gentle qualities need nurturing, but man must learn to allow and to bring out the nurturing of these qualities from himself, or to allow others to bring them out. He cannot be violent and also be gentle at the same time. But for some reason, man seems to think he can be violent, and then once his violence has control of the other, he can then be gentle.
This Awareness indicates it is like the entity who beats up his spouse and then says: "Now that you have submitted to my power, I will be very nice to you. I will show you how nice I can be." This Awareness indicates that this is a kind of sickness that has resulted from this syndrome described by the questioner, and by the cooperation of those women who buy into this sickness in their search for power, excitement, or drama in a relationship.
FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:
Is he correct in that part of the question about "the popular American myth of the rugged individual who lives free of all authority, guided only by an interior and often violent code; does this help to alienate us all from knowing ourselves?"
COSMIC AWARENESS:
This Awareness indicates this is in the affirmative. It is almost impossible to have close relationships with others while still holding oneself out and away from others to preserve one’s own self-interest and self-importance. One must learn to give in order to relate, and if you cannot give, you cannot relate well.
This Awareness indicates that it is to be considered that perhaps you cannot give in certain areas, perhaps there are lines over which you cannot cross. Perhaps you have principles or rules or values that you will not compromise, but this does not prevent you from compromising on other areas, other values, other issues that are not that important to you
Therefore, you can give in some areas, if not on all. You can give in, you can surrender in some areas of your relationships, and allow the other to have certain victories in your conflicts with that entity, while still maintaining those principles or issues or values that to you are not compromisable.
This Awareness indicates that this may be a way to start. You may find that the more deeply your relationship grows, the more you are able to give in on certain other values that you once thought were not compromisable. This Awareness indicates that It is not advocating that you should give in on all of your precious values but that you examine them to find out why you cling to them.
If it is a matter of personal ego, or if it is a matter of principles that are based on sound understanding of life, and a need to keep those principles intact for some greater reason than your own personal ego, and if it is something that goes beyond self, if it is a principle by which you feel your life is bound, then don’t compromise.
This Awareness indicates if it is simply personal ego, such as the entity who might say: "I’m the kind of person who likes my beer cold, and any woman who brings me a beer that is not cold to my suiting is in deep trouble," this is simply an ego value. It is not a matter or principle in terms of lifetime values.
This Awareness indicates that these things of ego-value can be compromised. They are not really important. In fact, the entity might find it possible to get up and find his own beer, if that is the situation.
This Awareness indicates It has watched so many men who have refused to compromise over some issue that is totally juvenile, worthy of a two- year old, and yet, these demands can tear relationships apart, can ruin the lives of family members, simply because the man’s ego and personal pride is so frail that he must have his way in order to prove himself the master of the house.
This is sickness. These men may call it "rugged individualism" or "masochism," but it is simply a childish juvenile attitude that they use to control others. It is not manly, it is not mature, and it is not worthy of an adult. This Awareness does not wish to speak of this further. It is basically disgusting.
CLOSING MESSAGE:
This Awareness indicates that there are many beautiful things in the life of each individual, if each individual simply opens his or her eyes and recognizes the beauty available.
There are so many beautiful things on earth. You to not have to walk more than a few feet to find something fascinating and beautiful.
Entities tend to become tired of those things with which they are familiar: your spouse’s face, your home, the inside of your home. These may be so familiar to you that you have long lost your ability to appreciate these things. Yet, if a similar home were pictured in a painting that sold for $4,000, you’d think: "My, I would like that if someone gave it to me. I would really appreciate that painting" And of course, if someone were to give you that painting with the picture of a similar home in its frame and you took it home and hung it on the wall, you might be so proud for several days and you would probably show this to your friends with great pride. "It’s worth $4,000, and I got it for nothing. They gave it to me." You would be so pleased at your cleverness of getting something so valuable for nothing. But as weeks and months pass, the picture hangs there — $4,000 worth of art — and you find yourself seeing it now as part of the room, no more exciting than the chair or the table, and you no longer see the beauty of the artwork. You no longer think of it as a great achievement that you received it. The thrill is gone. What do you do?
This Awareness indicates that you may think of selling it in order to get $4,000 cash which you would use to alter something else in your life, to make your life appear more exciting for a few brief moments.
This Awareness indicates this is the nature of entities in regard to things of value. You begin taking things of value for granted and then they lose their value. This Awareness indicates it is important for entities to stop once in awhile and appreciate what they have in their lives. Reevaluate all the good things available to you, as though viewing these things for the first time. You will be surprised how much more valuable your life becomes and how precious your things may be when reviewed with this new appreciation.
